18 sleeps to go

Yes that's right only 18 more sleeps to go until my life changes. I've started to tell more and more people about what I'm doing and the support that i'm getting is unbelievable. It has been so amazing because I thought that people would look down on be as not being able to do it via diet alone. It's a real eye opener which i'm enjoying. Maybe I'll start to give out my blog address soon
D xx

Things are moving forward

Check list:
Blood tests - Done
Continued Optifast - Done
Before photos - not done

Blood tests went really well but i was in shock with the amount of blood they took...it was right up there with when i donate blood and maybe having a couple of drinks on Saturday night wasn't the best idea but had cause to celebrate passing my uni exams.

I've attempted before photo's again and still can't bring myself to keep them. I'm beginning to think that i should have someone else take the photo's so then they can take the camera and run not allowing me to delete them. Why am i such a chicken when it comes to these photos??

Biting the bullet

I have decided not to wait any longer.....who cares about the results.....there is no way that I'll have levels too high to not have the surgery......not sure why I have stressed about this soooo much.....a massive panic attack that got a little out of hand. I found the liver test that I had less than 2 years ago and the levels where normal and altho I've put on 25 kgs since then I can't see that it will have increased my liver function to levels not allowing the surgery to happen....man I can just worked up about the wrong things babble crap sometimes.

I've also gotten a little braver about telling people. Today I was discussing it while on kinder duty and also told a friend that I have seen for years about it when I was chatting to her tonight. Now I just have to work up the courage to take the photo's again and not delete them right after. I need to have a history and story to my weight loss. I shall do the photo's tomorrow after my blood tests!!!

D xx

The dreaded blood tests

I've been putting off having the required blood tests but as the surgery date draws closer I know that I'm no longer able to put it off. I am soooo terrified that it will come back that my liver is too fatty to have the operation but I need the operation to lose the weight and get rid of the fatty liver...this is such a sucky situation to be in.....should I just bite the bullet and go and have them or hold out a bit longer and hope the optifast works wonders and decreses the fatty levels to something acceptabe very quickly???? Anyone wanting to offer advise would be appreciated.

Optifast

A week into the optifast stage and 2 kgs down which i'm very happy with just hope that the liver enzymes are heading down as well. I want to be in the best possible shape for this operation.

I took some pre-op photos today as a starting point for this journey but after looking at them.....balling my eyes out at them decided to delete them and wait until i'm closer to my surgery date to takes these photos and just a bit lighter and hope that I don't make myself feel ill looking at them again.

A friend said today 'I woke up as an 18 year old trapped in a 30 year old body' and I agree.....how did I end up like this???? I really am sad about where I am but looking forward to the direction I've decided to move in.

Until next time when it may be a bit more exciting content
D xx

The revolting optifast stage

I've spent the past few days on optifast and have never tasted anything more revolting. No wonder people lose weight on this program as you really don't want to drink the stuff. I will admit that the bars aren't too bad but the shakes and dessert are just funky tasting. Oh well I've dropped a kg since starting it.

I have mad a mega set back during the time I've been on the liquid diet in that my a doctor claimed that the lump under my arm was lymphoma but thank god he was extremly wrong and it turned out to be an infected gland and after getting that result tonight I've sliped up and having a couple of drinks altho it is a total no no while preparing for these blood tests.

Must get my butt into gear over the next few days because I do not want anything to stop this surgery from happening. It is my one chance of creating a healthly life and ensuring that I get to see my kids grow up.

D xx

The 1st appointment

Well today after 12 months of saying I'm gonna........I actually did. I had my initial consult with Mr Belmay at The Avenue and after getting over being told i'm morbidly obese I accepted it and moved forward. I weighed in at 163.4 and have been given a goal weight of 90kgs (but will be more than happy with 99kgs). It seems soooo far away but I believe in my heart I'll succeed. I ended up in tears during the consult when I was told if I don't have the surgery I won't see my kids grow up. I must make this work. My kids are my world and I have to make sure that I'm the one that gets to raise them and see them grow into beautiful adults.

Tomorrow starts the Optifast for 2 weeks before I have my blood tests to make sure nothing is wrong with it and that the surgery happens. I have ben given a surgery date of Thursday 13th of August and will make sure it happens then. I don't want to have to wait another day.

D xx